When Your Baby Refuses Solids | Parenting Starts Here

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Joanna Silverman and I am an Isis Parenting consultant and mother of two. As an Isis consultant, one of my roles is working with families to encourage healthy eating habits and supporting families of babies/toddlers who are resistant and picky eaters. As a mother, I have always taken pride in the food choices I have provided for my family, and am a strong advocate for only serving whole foods. I didn?t start this blog post to bore you by telling you all of my roles, but to prepare you for the irony I am currently experiencing. My Son Refused To Eat Solid Food. Here is our story, or maybe I should say, our journey?

When my daughter was 5 months old, she showed all the signs of being ready to eat. She moved her mouth when we ate, she reached for food, and she moved forward towards the spoon. One morning I woke up early, mashed up some avocados, mixed it with breast milk, put the spoon to her mouth, she moved forward, put the spoon in her mouth, and ate every bite until she had eaten an entire half of avocado. From that day on, she ate almost everything I put in front of her (until she was a toddler, but that?s another story!). I had done my job as a mother. I was clear on my role (providing her what I wanted her to eat, when, and where) and she had done her job (she ate, and stopped when she was full).

Drew before, refusing everything

When my son was born, I assumed it would pan out the same way, until three months ago. Drew was showing all the same signs of being ready to eat solid food. I began the same way, happily mashing avocados, mixing it with my breast milk, put the spoon to his mouth, and he went for it, put the food in his mouth, gagged and began screaming. Surely this was just a case of him not being used to the flavor, I thought, and I tried again. This time he would not open his mouth at all. My professional self said, it?s okay he is just not ready; wait a week or two and try again. So that is what I did, and I was met with the same response. Again, my professional self said, this is not a big deal, he is a few days short of 6 months, give him some time, he is not ready. Perhaps this would be a good time to tell you what my mother self was telling me, he better eat soon because I can?t exclusively nurse him for too much longer; I don?t have enough milk to meet his needs. Also, I thought by 6 months he would be eating solids and I would not be his only source of nourishment. If I were being completely honest, I saw a glimpse of the finish line of nursing and someone moved it on me.

Once Drew was 6 months old and still not eating, I hit the ground running. I attempted to feed him every day, anything and everything I could imagine. I was always met with the same response, gagging, tongue thrusting, and tears. After several weeks of this exposure to food, he no longer opened his mouth to the spoon. This is when I started to do the one thing I tell parents never to do, I started pushing. I knew when I was doing it that it was not the right thing to do. I knew I was harming our eating relationship. I knew I should trust his instincts with the process and relax. But I couldn?t, I needed him to eat. I needed him to eat so I knew that he was getting nourished. As a nursing mother, I wanted to know that his nutritional needs were not all up to me. I needed him to eat because the doctor said he should and because I knew how good it feels as a mother to have your child full and satisfied. So, I started to push food into his mouth any chance I could (when he opened his mouth for a toy, or to cry). I began obsessing about getting him to eat. I tried different locations, spoons, foods, temperatures, brands, and textures. ?I even tried having everyone I know feed him. And guess what? He still would not eat!

Drew after, exploring on his own

After I consulted with a trusted Isis colleague, I realized just how far away from what I know as a professional I had gone. I no longer trusted him or his instincts. I started to believe that I knew what was best for him and that this was a behavior I needed to conquer. Then I remembered the very simple thing I say over and over regarding resistant eaters, ?Eating is not the first objective, experiencing the food is?. My only job is to expose him to a variety of nutritional foods and allow him the opportunity and space to decide when and if he is going to eat. I realized I needed to do what I have advised so many families to do; provide him the opportunity to explore food.

As hard as it can be, I no longer offer Drew the spoon from my hand. I place it on the tray along with a variety of other foods I am eating. We sit together and I eat while he eats. He happily sits in his high chair and explores the food, both in his hand and in his mouth. After several weeks of doing this, he is slowly beginning to swallow some food. While I still wish he ate more, I know the eating process has started.? It has not started the way I envisioned it would; it has started the way he needed it to.?

About Joanna Silverman

Joanna Silverman, M.Ed, CHHC is an educator and certified health counselor with degrees in Psychology, Special Education and Early Childhood Development. At Isis Parenting, Joanna provides Parenting Consults to families to support healthy eating and specializes in picky eaters. As a member of our Sleep Support Team, she provides Sleep Consultations to help families with sleep concerns. She and her husband live south of Boston with their two young children.

Source: http://www.parentingstartshere.com/index.php/2013/02/26/when-your-baby-refuses-solids/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=when-your-baby-refuses-solids

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